Really Huge Mission Statement

This blog will be great, really tremendous, just HUGE! Like nothing else you’ve ever read. No, really, everybody is saying that. I’m getting calls and tweets all the time telling me I should start a blog. I say but why—no, no, they say, you gotta do it ‘cause it will be amazing—just great. I mean ‘cause everything I do is just tremendous, just huge.

You can check it, ask anyone—they’re all saying that.

I mean nobody else is doing this—I mean they write about media, politics, the arts and stuff but they’re so boring, the others doing this. Can you believe it? Really dull. No, this is the truth. I never lie. I mean I like these people. They’re my friends, y’know, all nice people. But no energy, really boring. And that’s bad, really bad.  It’s disgusting. Even my cats—disgusted.

Frankly, I’d ban ‘em from the Internet, kick ‘em right off until we find out what in the hell is going on.  Really, I mean it. Can you build a wall around the Internet? Maybe not. But it’s something to think about. Gotta do something.

I gotta be truthful. That’s what everyone is saying, they’re calling me all the time. I’m doing nothing but answering their calls telling me I should do it. I will be great, just tremendous. You’ll love it, I promise, you’ll see, everyone will love it.

I’m a beast. No, really, my vocabulary is just amazing. My brain, my personality. You can see, just amazing. It’s what they’re saying, it’s what they’re telling me all the time, tweeting so often I can’t get anything—I mean I gotta do other things—but they say do the blog, do the blog. And it will be great, it will be gigantic, just HUGE!

Did I mention you’ll love it?

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